Posted by: arijnovick | May 16, 2008

Assertive Communication-An Essential Ingredient to Anger Management

Good communication skills are an essential ingredient to anger management because poor communication causes untold emotional hurt, misunderstandings and conflict. Words are powerful, but the message we convey to others is even more powerful and often determines how people respond to us – and how we feel toward them.

Because communication is a two-way process, people with good communication skills are good at “receiving” messages from others as well as delivering them.

If you look at people in your life and we also look at your own behavior, you may discover certain patterns of communication. Some patterns are negative and harmful while others are positive and productive.

Frequently persons who have anger problems use harmful ways of communicating to others – harmful in the sense that it disrupts relationships and usually does not accomplish the goals that you intended.

Assertive communication, on the other hand, is a much more effective way to get what you want and what you need without the negative consequences. In short, the development of assertive communication skills will works for you by making you a more effective and less stressed person.

Words have tremendous power to determine how other people experience us, and how they respond to us. People with good assertive communication skills focus on the problem behavior (and not the character of the person), stick to the point, don’t use labels, and make “I” statements rather than “you” statements.

The process to do this can be put into this formula:

I feel ……describe the feeling you are having.

When you… ..describe the behavior that bothers you

Because……(describe how the behavior affects you)

I need……(how you are requesting the person to change)

Learning assertive communication can effectively be done by taking an anger management class by a qualified and trained provider.  To learn more about our anger management classes and programs,  visit our websites at  either AJ Novick Group or Anger Class Online

Ari Novick, Ph.D., LMFT
AJ Novick Group
949 715-2694

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