Posted by: arijnovick | December 1, 2009

Anger, one of the most misunderstood of all emotions

Anger is one emotion we all have experienced.  It is part of the collective human experience.  Anger can be both an asset and a detriment, depending on how it is felt, used and experienced.  Anger is powerful and usually tells us that we have an unmet need.  While anger can be a “first responder” emotion, it is usually takes the back seat to other more less acknowledged emotions.  For example, while crossing the street you may have almost been hit by a driver not paying attention.  You may have responded with anger by gesturing wildly, but the first emotion may have been fear, panic or worry.

What many people fail to realize is that their anger is more likely an indicator of other emotions that are not being expressed as well as needs that have not been communicated to a specified recipient(s).  By stopping for a moment when angry and asking yourself, “how was I feeling before I got angry?”  The answer to this question can usually be answered with some thought.  Most people will say that before they got angry they felt blamed, minimized, worried, scared, anxious, or criticized.  By learning to express our first responder emotions we are better able to let other know what is really going on inside our hearts and minds.  It also allows us to better communicate our needs because the true emotion is clear.

An effective way to learn how to improve this skill would be to take an anger management class from a qualified provider and/or program.  Anger management classes teach effective skills in emotional awareness and communication.  By practicing these skills, one can better learn how to master one of life’s most misunderstood and difficult emotions, anger.

For anger management classes in southern California or for online anger management classes that can be taken anywhere in the nation click on the above links or call our office at 949 715-2694

Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group, Inc. Anger Management

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