Posted by: arijnovick | October 19, 2010

In Anger Management, Empathy Leads to Change

Anger is one emotion almost anyone can identify with.  Anger can have lasting and damaging effects.  Those who get out of control with their anger are often viewed as having low emotional intelligence.  Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the skill of being able to understand and regulate our emotions as well as sense and understand the emotions of others.

People with high degrees of emotional intelligence tend to be better supervisors, do better at work and school and have more intimate relationships.  Those who lack empathy tend to have many issues with others.  Turmoil might include low levels of closeness with others, a history of failed relationships (including friendships), and reduction of compassion for others feelings, wants or needs.

Skills in empathy are key because we are able to use empathy to connect better with others.  emotional intelligence as a skill helps us to see things from another persons emotional viewpoint as well as their mental one.  When we feel “felt” by another, we tend to not get as upset or angry.  Empathy helps aid in reducing our anger reaction and relating to the person we are speaking to.

Common problems with having empathy toward others are often caused by using filters.  Filters are what is used when we listen but have a response already running in our own mind.  Filters also cause us to hear things differently than what is being said.  When we learn how to stop our filters, we tend to show more empathy toward other people.

Empathy can be learned by first understanding it, then repeating it.  It takes time to become more empathetic, but anyone can learn how to do this.  As ones’ empathy increases, the feeling of anger and frustration decreases.  All skills learned in anger management course or online anger management class.

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