Posted by: arijnovick | May 1, 2011

An Anger Management Nightmare: Absolutes

There are various ways of thinking and making decisions.  Some people pass judgment very quickly.  There are others who are black/white thinkers and see things as two distinct and polar extremes.  Then there are perfectionists, who mourn the loss of anything that happens in their world that doesn’t align with their idea of perfectionism.  Of course, we can’t forget those individuals who “should” all over people, as in “you should do this, you shouldn’t do that”.

Some of the most critical communication errors are made when absolute vocabulary choices are made such as: most, least or just; all, every or none; best, worst; always, forever, never.

Try not to use words that only elicit defensiveness in another because they create the absolute situation.  Better word choices might include: some, may, might, seems, can, could, probably, almost.

Communication is probably one of the most difficult challenges in the human existence.  It is one of the few things in life that is totally necessary in order to develop, sustain and maintain a relationship.

Those who struggle with good anger management often describe their communication as problematic and if they don’t, it is easily identified as such by a qualified professional.  It is nearly impossible to unlearn a problematic communication style; however, they can certainly learn a new approach to supersede an existing way that caused problems.

Where does one learn better communication?  Despite what you might think, anger management can be learned by taking an anger management class.  These classes can be taken online or in person, depending on what your preference may be.  Get out of the nightmare of being an absolutist!  Get help for anger management and gain good communication skills before it’s too late.

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